Ignore Doubters. Love Critics.

I’m learning that the writing process is hard – it’s incredibly difficult to get a novel traditionally published – but I’m enjoying it, and I’m learning a lot.

Whenever you’re attempting any new creative or business endeavor, you’re going to encounter both Doubters and Critics. One thing I wish I’d learned a long time ago is to ignore the Doubters and love the Critics. The differences between a Doubter (Hater) and a Critic are subtle.

• The Doubter shows up and offers their advice when they see you attempting something new and big.

• The Critic shows up when you invite them.

• The Doubter wants you to fail, though often without realizing it.

• The Critic believes in themselves and wants you to succeed.

• The Doubter thinks they’re safe by never embracing change, and they rarely do big things.

• The Critic bets on themselves and doesn’t quit.

• The Doubter will blow smoke up your ass to give you a false sense of confidence or they will outright attempt to discourage you. They’re happy when you’re not doing something bold.

• The Critic is honest and direct with feedback – you can’t grow unless you know your weaknesses.

A Doubter can be anyone: a friend, a family member, even yourself. Doubters can also be the people who try to flatter you with empty praise:

“It was such a wonderful book!”

“Really?” you ask.

“Really!”

“Nothing was bad?”

“Nope.”

Don’t listen to those voices either. There’s always room to improve.

When I was writing Eels of Catawissa, the first novel I wanted to have published, I encountered both Doubters and Critics. Some Doubters told me, “Ben, you’re a chiropractor. What do you know about writing?” Or “Getting traditionally published takes a lot of time and energy, Ben… You’re already a busy guy–are you sure you have the time?” And then there was perhaps the hardest Doubter of all – me. I told myself that real authors have been writing their whole lives. That I didn’t have the experience. That published authors have natural talent–and I didn’t. That voice led me to give up on a lot of things I wanted in life. But the writing process–seeing my craft evolve and refusing to listen to the Doubter–has taught me otherwise. I know the voice of the Doubter now, and I tell it to go to hell.

The term Critic is often associated with negative connotations–it shouldn’t be. It used to hurt my little feelings when critics would offer me advice.

“It needs a lot of work,” they’d say, “here, let me show you…”

Nope! Not me. I didn’t need any correction. I’d get so butt-hurt when I didn’t receive immediate praise that I’d just quit whatever I was working on–whatever dreams I hoped to accomplish. I shake my head when I think about all the things I wanted to do and gave up on because I couldn’t accept constructive criticism.

The beta readers I chose for my book were Critics–friends who want me to succeed, but who don’t sugarcoat bad writing. After reading an early draft, my friend Laura (a professional editor) pointed out a lot of weaknesses in the story, but encouraged me by saying, “There’s a story here, Ben. Keep at it.”

My friend Jeff also gave heavy feedback but ended his critique by saying, “There’s just a lot of meat on those bones. Do some trimming and I think you’ve got something.”

The three agents I’ve been fortunate enough to meet face-to-face were also Critics. After hearing my pitch–and even reading the first chapter of Eels of Catawissa–all three turned me down for representation. It felt like a fork to the gut when I was told, “It’s not a good fit for our agency.” Everyone knows that’s a nice way of saying, “Your writing is shit.” But after beating myself up for a few days, I reviewed their feedback, read the books they recommended, and made the changes they suggested. Now, the book is ten times better.

Criticism is hard to hear at first, but it gets easier–especially when you see the results that good critical feedback can produce. Ignoring the Doubter and loving the Critic isn’t just about writing–it applies to every bold step you want to take in your life. Whether you're thinking about starting your own business, entering a new relationship, considering homeschooling your kids, exploring alternative healthcare, or changing your career path, you must learn to recognize and distinguish between the voices of the Doubter and the Critic. It may take some trial and error to figure out which is which, but once you learn to push through the doubt–even when it’s coming from within–and start listening to the Critics (and that inner voice nudging you toward something greater), that’s when real progress happens. That’s when you begin achieving the kind of goals that leave the Doubters wringing their hands–or maybe even inspired to get their own shit together.

Lastly, become a Critic yourself. Ignore your doubt, and don’t pass it on to others.